10 Common Behaviors That Destroy Relationships

Behaviors That Destroy Relationships: Relationships are destroyed when communication breaks down. Communication involves transmitting and receiving, so when you are being receptive to someone, send the other person signals that what they are saying and showing is being received. It’s even better if you can send them signals that their words are being valued. Remember that you communicate with more than just words: your actions and body language say a lot to the other person.

There is a major misconception that when a relationship fails it was because it was a ‘bad relationship.’ In reality, relationships aren’t inherently bad, but the habits we participate in while we are in a relationship can be detrimental to the relationship’s outcome.

Think about it: two people that no one would ever envision together can enter into a relationship and stay together forever. I have seen it happen far more times than I would have ever imagined. The reason isn’t that they are ‘perfect’ for each other or because they are soulmates or anything like that. The reason is that they made a point to do whatever it took to make the relationship work.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it takes TWO people to do this. If one person of the two isn’t willing to step up and participate in the following behaviors, the relationship will likely end up failing.

Here are 10 common behaviors that destroy relationships.

1. Flicking a wrist.

If you are making a “shoo-fly” motion with your hand, you are dismissing the speaker like a pesky insect. Basically, you are telling them, “You annoy me. Go away.” If you need to retrain this habit, hold your hands.

2. Showing them the palm.

Behaviors That Destroy Relationships
Behaviors That Destroy Relationships-Talk To Hand

“Talk to the hand” puts a physical wall between you and the speaker. If you do this, you are telling them, “Stop speaking. I’ve had enough of you.” Keep your arms at your sides as the other one speaks.

3. Reading or texting.

If you think you are doing this surreptitiously, you’re not. People can tell, and it’s offensive. The signals you are sending the other person are, “I would rather be doing this than listening to you. I merely tolerate what you say.” Instead, stop what you are doing and give the person your full attention.

4. Walking out of the room.

Behaviors That Destroy Relationships
Behaviors That Destroy Relationships-Walking Out Of Room

This is the epitome of dismissal. What you are saying is, “I don’t value what you are saying, and I would rather be somewhere else.” Instead, hold still and receive what the other is saying—however uncomfortable. The other thing you have to do can wait a little bit. If you must leave urgently, wait for a pause, and explain to the other why you must leave now.

5. Jumping to conclusions.

It’s important to not assume that you know what someone is thinking, feeling, or saying if there is any possible chance that you are misunderstanding them. A lot of conflicts can be avoided by sitting down and talking things through, or asking the other partner when a misunderstanding arises about what they meant.

6. Being needy/ obsessive.

Obsession is not love. Obsession is scary. Having someone call you every two minutes to ask where you are is not normal. Having someone stalk you down, or get upset when you don’t respond immediately to their message, is not normal. And these behaviors destroy relationships.

7. Game playing.

We are adults, there is no need to play games, yet people do. For example, a woman may say that since her partner isn’t showing her the right attention, she just won’t call him anymore, and then she blocks him. Then, she unblocks him and calls him and tells him off, ignores him, and then wonders why he doesn’t call her back. Do you see the problem here? There is no room for a healthy relationship when people play childish games, and relationships are destroyed by these behaviors.

8. Selfishness.

Behaviors That Destroy Relationships
Behaviors That Destroy Relationships-Selfishness

Relationships will not work when one or both partners are self-absorbed. This causes a one-sided dynamic that ultimately will resort in the relationship falling apart.

9. Contempt.

The initial honeymoon phase of a relationship wears off, and things are not always honkey-dory. People get frustrated at one another and there are sometimes hard feelings. However, there is a major difference between getting frustrated with your partner and holding them in contempt entirely. Contempt can turn into hatred very quickly.

10. Poor communication skills.

Perhaps the number one destroyer of relationships is poor communication skills. Without proper communication, nothing else is ever going to be right in your relationship. There will be no proper conflict resolution and eventually, the lack of communication will push the two partners away from one another.

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