Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child: Many parents do everything in their power to instill all the societal conventions in their children. They even buy books about moral principles and show them movies on life lessons. Yet, despite their efforts, they may struggle with how to deal with a disrespectful child.
Various factors may cause children to act out and behave disrespectfully. You may even wonder if it is possible to help a growing child change their behavior. Continue reading to learn about the various causes of such disrespectful behaviors and ways to deal with a disrespectful child.
Dealing with a disrespectful child can be a very difficult and daunting endeavor. And that endeavor is made even more difficult when the child you are dealing with is grown.
When we envision raising our children, oftentimes, we don’t foresee them growing up to be disrespectful and cruel to us. Unfortunately, even if we don’t foresee it or even plan for it, it happens. The good news is if you are here and if you are looking for ways to rectify the situation, then you are already on your way to making the situation better.
Here Are 10 Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child.
1. Your actions
Sometimes, parents may do things that aren’t fair to children. It may be an unintentional bout of anger or lack of support. Although you might have forgotten such incidents, your child might still remember them as they’ve been deeply affected by them. These unidentified situations may lead them to show disrespect towards you.
2. Think about adjusting your parenting style.
There are four different parenting styles, authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful. Authoritarian parents tend to be more punishment-driven, not allowing much room for their child to develop a sense of self, and set high expectations for them. Authoritative parents are kind and loving, while also being assertive and helping their children to become a better version of themselves. Permissive parents are the ‘best friend’ parent that lets their child do whatever they want. Neglectful parents are just that: neglectful and unpresent.
Studies have focused on how the different parenting styles affect their children, and when compared, they found that authoritative parents often produced the best and most balanced children. Additionally, they emphasized the need to give guidance and provide advice, rather than trying to be controlling over their lives.
If you are having problems, it may be time to adjust your parenting approach.
3. Stop trying to be their best friend or savior.
A lot of well-meaning parents believe they should be their child’s friend. However, it’s far more important to be your child’s parent, before being their friend. If you put yourself on their level, they will treat you as such.
4. Clarify the real-world consequences of your child’s behavior.
When your child is being disrespectful, explain the consequences of their actions. For example, if they are using your car regularly, tell them if they continue to be disrespectful to you, they will lose their privileges. Another approach may be that you will not allow them to talk to you the way they do and continue to stand by them. If they live with you, explain that they may have to make other arrangements for a living if they continue.
5. Respectfully correct them on their actions.
And make sure that you call them out for their disrespect. However, don’t match their disrespect with more disrespect. Instead, respectfully tell them that the way they are treating you is hurtful and will not be tolerated.
6. Set realistic expectations for your child.
Get clear on the expectations you have for your child. Reasonable expectations would be respect, honesty, compassion, and for them to stand on their own. Be reasonable with your expectations and make them clear.
7. Applaud good behavior
Encourage good behavior and applaud their good deeds. Notice any changes in their behavior and praise them when they do something right or react to a difficult situation calmly. Positive communication goes a long way in promoting desirable behavior in the future.
Dealing with a disrespectful child could seem daunting, but knowing the root cause can help you address your child’s behavior better. Whatever the reason is, there is always a solution to it. We hope these tips help you understand your child a little better
8. Take it one step at a time
Even the smallest of actions geared towards correcting a bad behavior counts. If your child puts in the effort, acknowledge them and give them a fair amount of time to change. Be persistent with your actions, and do not have unrealistic expectations. Let them move on with the process at their own pace.
9. Empathize without enabling
Sometimes, you may think you’re helping your child with a problem, but you may be doing more harm than good by making them more dependent. This constant help they receive from you could stifle their growth.
So the next time you see your child facing a problem, empathize with them rather than provide a solution. Observe how they learn from the crisis and grow stronger by themselves. This would not only make them respect you more for the support but also respect themselves.
10. React less and create more
Do not react to your child’s disrespectful behavior aggressively. Your anger could only make them more stressed and lower their self-esteem.
Create opportunities for improvement, and observe your child’s body language for a few days. You could present them with ways they can act and let them learn by observing you.