Being an Outcast At College or University: Social awkwardness arises from the feeling that a student does not seem socialized. The reasons for these feelings are often personal fears and worries about the expectations of society. Often social awkwardness does not allow a student to communicate because he or she is afraid of being ridiculed and turned into an outcast among peers. When you understand that everyone is scared of this awkwardness, and it is possible to get out of awkward situations, you will begin to strive for communication and stop avoiding people.
Being an Outcast At College or University? How to Overcome
1. Understand That You Are Not Alone
Many students are afraid of this social awkwardness. It means that they are focused on what other people think about them and always tend to make a good impression. So, the idea is to understand that you are not alone, who experience some fear of social interaction.
2. Discover the Main Reason for Awkwardness
Anxiety, lack of self-confidence, and fear can be the main reasons for awkwardness. But every problem has its solution, and your particular case is not an exception. Just after you understand why you feel that awkwardness, it should be your call to action. As the practice shows, the sooner you encounter the reason, the more comfortable you will deal with the problem.
There could be many reasons for self-doubt, but the main of them are the following:
- unsuccessful experience in the past
- the feeling that no one understands you
- the necessity to deal with people in certain situations
- pressure from parents
- confusion because of not understanding the motives of others in particular situations
3. Forget About Shyness
Shyness is not the best quality, especially if you want to make friends at the university. Shiny people are not interesting because they do not speak a lot. Try to forget about all your complexes and try to make conversation with people who seem interesting. For example, in college, there are a lot of social groups. Try to start with the one where you may feel more relaxed. Of course, this could be a wrong try but never give up and make other attempts. The attitude toward communication always must be relaxed.
If you are shy, you will never go to a party or visit an interesting event because of the fear of doing something wrong. All people make mistakes, and it is understandable. You have no reason to be confined.
4. Ignore the Opinions of Other People
It is not an easy task. However, it is one of the steps, which help to overcome social awkwardness. For many students, the opinion of peers is more important than what other people think. If you are always focused on some opinion, you will never enjoy communication and won’t be able to make friends. Try to get rid of a habit of analyzing everything that you say, do, or wear. Try to be yourself and enjoy every moment when you are not alone or with friends. Later you will meet people whose opinions will matter to you.
But for now, someone may like you, while others do not like you. It is life. All people are different. So, try to remember that your real friends will always be with you, even if you do something wrong once or twice.
5. Determine the Presence of Social Phobia
Social Phobia is a well-known disorder. If you have it, you can’t live a normal healthy life. For example, you may feel fear when going to classes, and when you need to take part in some event.
A person with social phobia prefers to maintain relations only with family members and close friends, and refuse all other interpersonal relationships. This phenomenon is based on a fear that others analyze you and you start feeling embarrassed.
6. Recognize Your Feelings
Find out at what moments you feel awkward. When you understand physiological reactions at these points, you can know that you are overwhelmed with adrenaline, which makes you run and hide.
Pay attention to your physical well-being: fever, sweating, excess energy, tension, or excessive attention to your sensations. Analyze your thoughts and think if you are trying to criticize your behavior in society. Also, you have to explore your emotions and learn how to recognize all these sensations. It will help to get rid of the feeling helpless in the future.
What to Do When You Are an Outcast at the university?
If you don’t have friends among peers, it means that you need to be more social because others may treat you as an outcast. Below are the bits of advice that will help you to overcome shyness and to feel more comfortable among other people:
1. Learn to Relax
The very first step is to learn how to relax. People around often feel your tension, and you no longer need this. So, start working on your behavior at home because you may feel more comfortable in a company of close people. Practice with parents, open up, and leave the desire to protect your space behind. For example, you may tell some personal story to your mom and ask her to share her own experience in the same situation. This will help to avoid feeling stress in a company, and you won’t be afraid of social situations.
2. Develop the Sense of Humor
The life of every person is full of unpleasant things, but you need to learn how not to pay too much attention to them. Always try to find positive in everything that happens to you. It would be best if you improve your sense of humor. At first, it will be difficult because you will try to overcome tension and continue thinking about what others think. People will be laughing with you, just give them a try!
3. Think Positive
When you feel being an outcast, you believe that everything you do is wrong. When this happens, it’s best to think about the good. What good is happening now? If you tune in positively, you can understand that all failures are insignificant.
4. Develop a Self-Confidence
People feel your energy and understand when you are not confident in yourself. Try to change this. Even if you feel self-doubt, act confidently, prove that you are self-confident. This should turn into a feature of your character.
5. Make Friends With People
You will stop feeling yourself an outcast when at least one person will want to talk to you. Allow peers to do this, talk to them, answer, tell stories, discuss films, whatever you want. Of course, your right attitude towards others will not protect you from the rudeness of individuals, but this should not be the reason for your desire to hide or blame yourself. If you don’t have enough time for communication because you have a lot of assignments to do.
Many students manage to overcome social awkwardness, and they are not outcasts. Awkwardness often occurs in adolescence and early youth. Gradually, people find a way to overcome all these feelings that once seemed impossible.