How Intelligent People Should Deal With Toxic People: Toxic people interact in a way that defies all logic and explanation. This can be very aggravating for clever individuals.
Where there is a will, however, there is a way. While completely shutting someone off can be difficult, it’s critical to deal with a toxic individual in a specific way. If you don’t, the person will continue to cause you worry and frustration, which isn’t good for anyone.
You most certainly have a toxic individual in your life that drains you continuously, is self-absorbed and self-centered, manipulative and dishonest, and continually produces drama in your life. What am I supposed to do, you might be thinking about How Intelligent People Should Deal With Toxic People.
Here are a few pointers on How Intelligent People Should Deal With Toxic People
1. Don’t pander to their fears.
Toxic people enjoy blaming others. And they may very well consider themselves as such in their minds. For the sake of your sanity, you may feel compelled to agree with them in order to keep the peace. That, however, is not a wise strategy. Instead, respectfully disagree with them.
2. Establish boundaries.
While you may not be able to separate yourself from them entirely, you can set limits and distance yourself. And if this person is constantly coming around, and complaining or droning on about their latest drama, simply ask them “What are you going to do to fix this situation?” This can be a quick but effective way to redirect the conversation.
3. Learn to say no.
If this person continually comes around, bringing all of their emotion sapping toxicity with them, you will have to learn to say no, especially if you have set limits, and they still don’t get it. When they ask you to do something you don’t have time for or are coming to you with their hundredth complaint about the day- tell them, “I’m sorry I just can’t today.” Or simply say no to their requests.
4. Stay tuned in to how they make you feel.
When this person is around you, observe how you feel. When you are fully aware of how this person makes you feel, you will be better able to understand the best way to navigate the conversation.
5. Talk to them.
If a person is bringing nothing but drama into your life and is manipulating, gossipping, and constantly dragging you down, talk to them. But make sure to use I statements. Statements such as “I feel uncomfortable when I hear gossip,” or “I value honesty and trust in a friendship, so I can’t continue to be around you if you lie to me.”
6. Stop negative talk.
When this person is still bringing negativity around you, even after you have set limits and told them how you feel, when they come back around in a storm of negativity, change the subject. Or, leave the situation.
7. Don’t let them drag you into a fight.
Toxic people can be combative, and they love to engage in a heated argument. If they start to antagonize you or pick at you, do not let them drag you into a fight. Instead, tell them you don’t have time to fight with them, nor the energy, and walk away.
8. Know your weaknesses.
Be aware of what you cannot handle. In your mind, set clear limits for these weaknesses, and if you are triggered, you will know what to do. Make sure to have a real and actualized plan for when this happens and follow through.
9. Know your strengths.
If you have a knack for redirecting the conversation when it starts spiraling downhill, make sure you are prepared to enact that plan. Understand what your strengths are in a toxic relationship and use them when you can to protect your energy and maintain composure.
10. Do not forget.
Don’t be too quick to forget the past. Experience teaches us and we learn from it. While you can give second chances, use the experiences from the past to protect yourself using the knowledge you have.
11. Get support.
If you are dealing with a toxic coworker, get other coworkers to support you. Reach out to them and discuss what is happening. If this person is a toxic friend, get support from another mutual friend, or even from an outsider, if necessary. And if this person is toxic, try to have a mediator around that is neutral but understands this person’s demeanor.
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12. Plan your reactions.
You likely already know what to expect from this person (for the most part,) and if there are certain things this person is doing that are leaving you drained, plan out how you want to handle them. Have a backup plan to either escape or shut them down.
13. Be solution-focused.
Don’t get hung up on the problem- instead work towards solutions. When you get too hung up on the negative aspects (problems) of the situation and overlook the solution- you are letting them win.
14. Stay rested.
Dealing with a toxic person is frustrating enough. And when we are sleep-deprived, we are not able to handle conflicts with toxic people. Instead, you are far more likely to get pulled down to their level when you are sleep-deprived because you are less emotionally controlled.